Tia asks :
Hi Lucy,
I can't get over my ex-boyfriend. I was involved with him for a year and a half before leaving him for my current boyfriend two years ago because he treated me very badly. Thing is I've never got over him. I still think about him, miss him and wish I could see him one more time. It's been two years and what makes it more complicated is that I do love my current boyfriend and I want a future with him. He's lovely and treats me like a princess, which is the opposite to my ex-boyfriend. But still I can't seem to move on from him. What do I do, it's getting me down so much. Thank you
Hi Tia,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Perhaps it's not him that you are trying to get over but the way he treated you- the memory of bad treatment in a relationship can linger for years. Have you talked to someone about the way he was with you? Perhaps find someone you feel close to confide in. It might be that you are still bottling it all up and once it's out there in the open you might feel better and find it easier to move on.
Hypothetically if you were to get back with him then you would likely receive the same treatment. So would you want to go back to that knowing what you have now?
If you were treat this way for so long you might not be used to being in a relationship with someone who respects you and it is still a little unusual. You knew how your ex was with you and what to expect, however your new man could be new territory for you- so that might explain why you are still thinking about the past- it was familiar.
It sounds like you have the full package with your new partner if he treats you well, you can see a future with him and your relationship is one based on love, so is there something else that you feel isn't right between you? Perhaps the thing with your ex is a distraction from the real problem.
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