Sam asks :
Hi Lucy,
Why am I the woman that guys want to have sex with but not a relationship? This keeps happening.
Hi Sam,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This sounds very frustrating for you, especially if you are at a time when you feel you would like to have something exclusive with a man.
What do you talk about with the men that you meet? If you are very open about sex and excessively flirty about the experiences you have had in the past then maybe that is giving them the impression that all you want is a physical side of a relationship. Women are like an unwrapped present for men and the longer it takes them to take off the paper the more intrigued and excited they get about her. If they tear the gift open in seconds the novelty wears off pretty quickly. Maybe try to leave some things to the imagination.
What do your friends think of you and know about you? Perhaps you could talk to them and ask them what they tell guys about you when they ask. If they know some stories about you that might hinder your chances then maybe ask for their discretion when you are all out as a group. What they might deem as an acceptable story to tell- might in fact not be helping your cause.
How do you present yourself to the outside world? Although it is not fair- people are judged by the way they dress. Perhaps have a look at what you put on for a night out for instance and see if there is anything you are wearing that might encourage a lot of the wrong kind of attention. A woman’s sexiness is in her ability to own an outfit she wears not how little of it there is.
It could just be that you have not met the right guy yet. It sounds like you have a good eye for spotting when someone doesn’t want the same things as you do. If you are aware early on what a guy wants from you and you don’t want the same- then this puts you at an advantage not to be sucked in by it. Finding worthwhile relationships and maintaining them both take patience and time- so perhaps look at who you are surrounding yourself with and maybe think about extending your social circle further. Or maybe you could leave some people behind if you feel that your priorities are different and they are preventing you from finding someone who also wants a relationship.
How to avoid men who only want sex from you
tagged in Relationship
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.