Guy asks :

Hi Lucy,

I’ve been having trouble with my boyfriend. As a gay couple we are not intimate and I think it’s because he finds me annoying. There has been a few times where we have had sexual contact but it feels like he’s brushing me off. Is it me or is there someone else?

Hi Guy,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

If you think you already know why he is not being intimate with you then perhaps talk to him about it and ask him the question. If he does admit to finding you annoying- you have two choices- try to alter who you are to please him or find someone who will accept you for you.  The first may work in the short term, but whoever you choose to date should embrace who you are rather than trying to change your personality.

Sex sets you apart from being friends so if you are not having any then maybe you are slipping back to the 'friend zone'. This could be because you are being sensitive to the things that you think are annoying him and trying to alter your behaviour accordingly.

If you are not fulfilled after you have had sexual contact then you could tell him how his advances are making you feel. How would he feel if you were ‘brushing him off’ in bed?

His actions don’t necessarily mean that there is someone else- perhaps some better communication between you both might help to resolve this. 


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