Sophie asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend completely makes me feel unwanted, we don't have sex, we don't do anything together and we barely speak... I love him so much and I just don't know why there is nothing there anymore. I can’t stop crying all I want is my relationship to be happier, he would rather drink and not come home than sleep in the same bed as me, I need help.
Hi Sophie,
Agony Aunts on Female First
This sounds like a very unhappy place to be in your relationship right now.
You have not mentioned talking to him about the way you feel. It might be worth asking him why he doesn’t show you the attention he used to emotionally and physically and if he is trying to tell you something with his absence.
If he has gone out drinking and you have not expressed your feelings of loneliness to him as a result, he may not be aware how it’s affecting your happiness in the relationship. He might assume that you are ok with it if it’s never met any resistance before.
If he has doubts about you as a couple or he is too feeling unhappy this could be his opportunity to tell you while you’re being honest about his absence.
If you feel there is ‘nothing there’ any more then maybe your relationship has run its course, or perhaps it just needs some revaluation. Relationships go through phases of needing little attention to needing significantly more and it takes communication to set them back on track. Maybe once you have been honest about your concerns you can make plans together and try harder to maintain the physical side of your relationship.
If once you have asked for change; if there is none; this might be a sign that he is not willing to try hard enough to improve what you have. At this point it might be worth finding someone who does want to spend the time with you and have a regular imitate relationship with you too.
tagged in Love Relationship yin and yang agony aunt
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