Sarah asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm 20 and I have been with my boyfriend, who is 21, for 7 months now, and he’s cheated in that time and I've forgiven him. However, I went through his email and have found that he's signed up for several "cougar" dating websites to meet up with much older women. I'm not sure how to confront him about it, or if it is even worth it and just leave him. Please help
Hi Sarah,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It is understandable that you might have some trust issues after he cheated on you once- hence why you might have gone through his emails.
If he is looking to date older women then it affects you and your relationship, so it' worth talking to him about it. Was the women he cheated with before older? Maybe he prefers older women to one his age.
Confrontation might not be the way to go here, but talking to him might. Confrontation can make people close off and not communicate because they feel accused of something- so maybe tell him what you have found and ask him why he feels the need to be signed up to such a site.
Honesty is not a lot to ask in this situation, especially if he has been unfaithful in the past. If the roles were reversed he would likely want to know what your motivation behind the sign up was.
If you leave it alone, you may never know if he was signed up out of curiosity or because he intended to act upon his findings.
If he has cheated before, there is a possibility he may do it again- if he is planning to then its only fair that he tell you so and give you all the information to then make your decision whether to stay and give him another chance or to go.
You have not been together all that long and if he has not been faithful in that time and is potentially betraying you again then you may need to find someone who respects the idea of monogamy and not free love.
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