When they say opposites attract, I truly believe they do. However when it comes at a price or when it comes to the point of not enjoying your partnerships anymore, then it's time to quit. When someone says to me "I met someone last week, they are so out there and done this, done that and never really in one place at one time, are they ok to date?"
Outdoorsy? Adventurous?
When dating, it is not about someone's character it is more about how they make you feel, Sometimes in relationships if someone makes you feel a certain way, in a good way, then that's all you need to know about how that relationship works for you and it's enough to make you happy. If on the other hand you are flying off the handle, risking your own happiness and contentment to make them happy for what they want, then you have a disaster on your hands. Risking your own happiness to make them happy is when you will need to address your self-worth and self-esteem.
Someone can be the most "out there" character, but inside they are the most heartwarming, desirable and loving person you have ever met who just adores you. There are the recluse quiet types who are always doing their own thing, taking time to be alone, working alone, enjoying their own company, the highly sensitive types you will find. These types on the surface can appear somewhat vague or non-approachable, or just shy, when underneath they are searching for and craving an understanding of who they really are and a want of being understood. These two types would gel well together.
Having two similar types together, two highly strung individuals are great together as long as they are able to balance it and not go off the rails when it comes to anything addictive and find themselves losing everything, including themselves with each other when it becomes toxic together. The science I feel around relationships is more based on how someone makes you feel and the understanding of yourself with this person. Do you feel good around them?
I think with relationships you can be somewhat curious with your analysis and not come up with any conclusion at all, but you attract the same types again and find that really you are going into the same pattern. If you see someone who always attracts an exciting, adventurous and unpredictable type, they will soon realise this made them feel quite insecure and unsettled in life, so they will still be attracted to them but next time, they will consciously choose someone they feel that suits their emotional needs in life.
When looking at someone who likes a quiet life, they will attract a similar partner to compliment them, when looking at someone who needs quite a lot of attention by being around people all the time, ideally they should be looking for someone who is quiet and does not seek too much attention but adores them all the time to give them attention when required and encourages them as they may be more ego based. So two egos could clash.
Relationships should be about equals, but sometimes if something is missing in your personality or life, which you are out of balance with, then this other person will come in and create the right balance fort you. You will know it is right because you won't be feeling on edge, nervous or uneasy it just works.
I have seen many men who are quite serious to settle with someone quite outrageous in their personalities to really bring this man out of their shell and make them happier inside. That is an extreme balance, but also a balance that makes them feel safe, strangely enough as it's a side of them they aren't sure about projecting out, unless someone else came in to help here.
So my question here is, what part of your personality is missing and what would you like to find in someone else?
Sharing the same interests to equally enjoying your lifestyle is highly important here, you don't have to love the same things, but where I have seen relationships last the long haul, this will be surrounding the partners appreciating what the other does for a living, being supportive, being helpful, enjoying the same things and encouraging one another.
When you go into a relationship and one of the partner's does not ask or take interest in anything you do, would be a warning as they may want you to like everything about just them and them only. So when meeting someone for the first time, share with them your interests and your job with them and see how they react, are they interested or not? This is always the first sign of their characters or a match for you. If you do not like or understand your partner's job, then it may be that other areas you may not like as well. Delve deeper into their lives. This may be what is highly important for them all the time.
If they dismiss your job completely and you find they aren't responding in any way or worse, making it sound like you are in the wrong job or it's not good for you, then it's time to escape for the hills.
One thing I have seen in relationships is mutual respect as well as helping the other succeed in their line of work, their hobbies, their goals and their accomplishments. However it needs to be from both sides of the coin too. If one is more ambitious, the less ambitious one works well in this relationships to boost and support, whilst the more ambitious one, can be the source of security and provider, whilst the other could be the nurturer which is more your traditional type of relationships. This does work the other way around with the male as the nurturer and the female being the provider, which works a treat.
If you are both ambitious and want attention say, then you will find it won't be so accommodating, one person needs to become more the nurturer but enjoy this role without becoming competitive, resentful and angry at the same time. So these types may not be suited. One person must be the giver more, or two the same in terms of nurturer.
When I see ego's getting in the way, then it becomes slightly difficult to sustain a relationship based on ego and ego only. Unless the other person is very laid back and lets them have the limelight which works for both parties, something in lacking in the other.
So what is missing in your life and what type of character do you need for you to feel safe and happy?
If you are strong minded and opinionated, you will be more inclined to want to marry someone more laid back and quiet and does not disagree with you, they are supportive of you and your thoughts and opinions letting you get on with it without any jealousy. If you are quiet and timid and prefer to be alone, then perhaps find someone the same as you, home loving and nurturing but also enjoys the same things you do so it can be a close 1:1 relationship.
Whatever sits comfortably for you when you were a child, you will be use to as an adult. For me, my parents are still married nearly fifty years later and lead a very traditional life, so I always felt safe at home and secure, this is what I crave in relationships for myself, safety, security someone calm and has their life in order and not emotional or all over the place, as this wasn't what I was use to or liked.
So look back at your past and ask yourself, what did I love about my childhood, what did I not like and what type of character would suit me best going forward?