Narcissists are all around us, they are our parents, siblings, partners, colleagues and ‘friends’, and in this social media, introspective 24/7 self-indulgent digital world we live in; the focus on the ‘self’ has never been so writhe. If you suspect you have a Narcissist in your life, check out these 5 Red Flags, and if this person is showing these traits, you may just have a Narc in your midst. 

Aydin Guner

Aydin Guner

Always Talking About Themselves 

Generally, most things humans say in some way, conscious or subconscious, involve themselves. Our communication, whether physical or verbal, is our only way to express ourselves; but a narcissist doesn’t care about anyone except themselves. They are always talking about themselves, where they’ve been, who they’ve met, what they think, what they’ve seen. It’s all an advertisement. They are a walking advertisement for themselves. They are so insecure, they can’t help but try to convince everyone around them how amazing and special they are. They lack empathy. They very rarely ask you how you’re feeling (because they don’t care), and are merely using you as a tool to talk about themselves.  

They are Hypersensitive

Narcissists don’t take criticism well. In fact, they don’t welcome it at all. If you don’t agree with a narcissist or decide to challenge a narcissist’s viewpoint, you become their biggest enemy. So much so the narcissist will resort to any method, any dirty trick, to ‘get you’. To seek revenge and make you pay. Any attack on a narcissist is treated with a disproportionate level of venom. Almost as if the King or Queen of their kingdom has been challenged by a mere ‘peasant’, “How dare they speak of me in this way.” Criticise a narcissist at your peril. 

Extremely Superficial 

Narcissists aren’t deep thinkers. In fact, they barely feel at all – well, unless it’s jealousy, lust or anger. They can’t stand others being better than them. If someone has a new pair of shoes, the narcissist will want a newer pair. If someone has been on a nice holiday, the narcissist will want to go there too and out-do them. Narcissists love possessions and love having the best things – not because it makes them feel happy, but it keeps up with their ‘perfect appearance.’ They want to appear to be perfect in every way, including physically and financially. Narcissists love to create the illusion they are wealthy, so much so, they will bankrupt themselves to ‘get nice stuff’.’

Very Manipulative

Narcissists are very manipulative people! They see themselves as the Kings and Queens of their world and literally, if they could, would control people on puppet strings. They need people to say and do what they want, when they want it. They can’t accept challenge. If a narcissist sees someone who is a threat to them, they will spread smear campaigns to ruin that person’s reputation. They will do this by using their close group of loyal minions, also known as ‘Flying Monkeys’. Narcissists tend to be the Alpha in their group with a subservient group of followers, their ‘flying monkeys’ will spread rumours on behalf of the narcissist, ruining the target’s reputation whilst keeping the narcissist out of the line of fire. Narcissists use their charm and intuition to manipulate people in various situations. They often emotionally control their partners. It’s normal for a narcissist to regularly split up with their partners – controlling their emotions like a lab rat, controlling when that person comes and goes. They will ruin and rip a person’s soul out with their manipulative behaviour. 

Multiple Personalities

Narcissists are different to different people! They have split personalities. This goes back to their manipulative nature. They are able to adapt to survive. A narcissist is so insecure; they build walls around them and will never allow anyone to see their real self. Almost as if behind the mask is a Gollum like creature. They wear masks and disguise their true personality. They have no sense of self. It’s normal for humans to be slightly different around family, friends, colleagues and lovers – but a narcissist is more segregated, to the point where they’d do everything in their power to keep these separate groups apart from each, to ensure the other groups don’t see their other personality. The bottom line is, you will never know a narcissist, only the illusion they create for you.