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I have picture albums full
Of mum sitting in her armchair
The chair and mum have changed
Slightly over the years with
Different fads and fashions.
Together they have moved round
The room until they have come full circle,
Now mum has her back to the window.
Mum’s armchair was always slightly
Posher than the other chairs, like
A grand Aunt next to poor relations.
One rocked, one swivelled, one reclined.
One had a leg rest, a neck and head rest.
One even had a vibrating cushion.
Her latest chair has electronic controls.
Like a rocket in snail motion
It lifts, tips and launches Mum
To the standing up position, then waits
Patiently while she shuffles to the toilet,
Then shuffles back again.
Sometimes she talks to dad’s photo.
Or stares dolefully at his empty chair.
Then falls asleep from boredom,
Glasses tipped on her precipice nose,
Chin on her stained T-shirt
As the television shouts at itself.
At one time she would knit while I followed
The electric click of her fingers and watched
The wool weave and grow to cover her lap as
She whispered, ‘Knit one, purl two’ creating
A reservoir of baggy jumpers, saggy cardigans
Mainly navy blue or mustard.
Most evenings once the curtains were drawn
Mum would peel off her panty girdle,
And flop it on the back of the chair,
Like the pelt from a seal pup
Smelling of dead skin,
Then stretch out her pale legs,
Knotted and lumped with veins
To roast savagely by the open fire.
For a while she took up reading
Chaste romance and murders.
The books stacked high beside her chair
Helped to fill her day with tales of
Gentlemen lovers and rogue killers.
Now they collect dust and coffee stains.
Often mum would sit and weep,
I never knew the reasons why
The sobs would shake her body
In unfathomed pain, but I encircled
Her with inadequate love and
Childish words of comfort.
Now it is too late for surprises
Or demands, but sometimes
I am tempted to travel home
And in one breath turn Mum and her
Chair to face the open window,
So that finally she can see
The sunshine on the grass
And all the flowers growing.