Nikki Bella felt jealous of Artem Chigvintsev and Kaitlyn Bristowe’s partnership on ‘Dancing with the Stars’ whilst she was suffering from postpartum depression.
The 37-year-old former professional wrestler struggled with depression after giving birth to her son Matteo in July, and has said her mental health made her question her relationship with fiancée Artem, who at the time was working on ‘DWTS’ as a professional dancer, where he was partnered with the ‘Bachelorette’ star.
Speaking in Thursday’s (21.01.21) episode of ‘Total Bellas’ – which was filmed whilst ‘DWTS’ was still on air last year – Nikki said: “It’s been so f****** hard. I’m trying to keep it together and … I’m about to lose it. I’m about to have a massive breakdown.
“It’s not about her and him. Like, I don’t have a fear of Artem going off. That’s not it. It’s wanting what she’s getting from him. Can he come home and laugh with me? Can he come home and ask me how I’m doing? Like, I want to feel wanted and sexy.”
And when her twin sister Brie Bella encouraged her to talk to Artem about her feelings, Nikki said she didn’t want to be “that nagging woman”, especially after she had pushed for him to “fight for his dreams” and rejoin the ABC dance competition.
Artem and Kaitlyn eventually went on to win ‘DWTS’ in November last year.
Prior to their win, Nikki had spoken about her battle with postpartum depression in an episode of her ‘The Bellas Podcast’, where she said she had spoken to Artem, who was understanding of her situation.
She said: "I am such a pleaser and I try to be a perfect girlfriend or a perfect fiancée so I act extra supportive even if something's bothering me deep down inside.
“I felt bad for Artem because it made him feel terrible and then he's like, 'I wish you came to me sooner.’ He was just so sad at the fact that I was feeling all these things and I never told him.”
And she added of her conversation with Artem: "Communication is key. Talking to people is key. If you are someone who's fighting postpartum [depression] and you're just trying to be strong like I was, you can't. We can't win this battle. We cannot fight postpartum depression; we just physically and mentally can't and we have to talk to people."