No one can deny they love a good party, whether it be a birthday party, a street party, a hen night or a wedding party, but a divorce party? Is a divorce really something to throw a party for? According to a new wave of divorcés, it’s the perfect event to celebrate.
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Recently divorced Nicole Thomas spoke to the Guardian recently about how she is planning on celebrating her divorce with a 1950’s jive party.
She tells the Guardian, “It's not about celebrating the end of the marriage as much as celebrating the start a new life. Even more than that, it's to thank the friends who have helped me through the last few years while I have put myself back together.”
She acknowledges the people may find it an odd thing to do, and that some would find it negative. She says, “One of my friends was concerned because he saw it as a negative thing. I can understand why he feels that way – but it's not negative at all.”
Amanda McAlister, National Head of Russell Jones & Walker Family Law, part of Slater & Gordon Lawyers has had several clients organise divorce parties but says you should proceed with caution.
She says, “Think carefully before throwing a divorce party. Some say holding an ‘I’m Divorced!’ party is a healthy way of embracing a new life. Others might say something completely different but what I would suggest is if you must have a party, keep it low key.”
Nicole is keeping it far from low key, she’s even planning on having a Burlesque act at her party, as well as lots of jive dancing and 1,000 origami cranes to symbolise good luck.
Dr Massimo Stocchi is a Relationship and Sex Psychologist at Harleystreetpsychology.com and says that one of the reasons that people throw divorce parties is due to the feelings of low self-worth and heartache they feel after the breakdown of a marriage.
He suggests that divorce parties help them regain their confidence. He says, “The stance taken is more about celebrating ones new found freedom and returning to ‘how we once were’ before we were changed by the relationship.
“This is a subject based on one’s perception, much like the Irish who celebrate the passing away of a loved one, the experience of divorce can be seen as a celebration of a different type of ending and the opportunity to experience something new.”
However you feel about your ex, it’s important to consider their feelings when deciding to throw a divorce party. Imagine how you would feel if it was the other way round, even if the intent was not malicious.
Remember, keep it low key, as Amanda McAlister says, “It’s not a fantastically good idea to erect a huge marquee in the garden and be yelling ‘Wahoo! Free at last! And I’ve got ALL the money!’ just as your ex mother-in-law is dropping the children off.”
tagged in Divorce Divorce Monday