The Seven Year Itch is now the Three Year Wobble

9 March 2011

Relationships

· 36 months pinpointed as the time when romance begins to wane
· Snoring, stray nail clippings and over-exposure to the in-laws named as key passion killers
· Solo holidays away from marriages and ‘pink ticket’ culture on the increase
· 55% of Brits admit to ‘scheduling’ their ‘romantic activity’

The fast pace of 21st century life is taking its toll on Brits in long term relationships that’s the verdict of a new study which reveals that our romantic gestures and sexual appetites start to decline rapidly at the three year mark while arguments and irritations increase at a staggering rate.

The report suggests that the traditionally held notion of the seven year itch has now been replaced by the ‘three year glitch’ as longer working hours and financial pressures take their toll on modern relationships. The findings pinpoint the 36 month marker as the time when stress levels increase and couples start to take each other for granted. The research also points to a new trend of ‘pink passes’ and ‘solo’ holidays away from marriages and relationships that many Brits are resorting to in order to keep their relationship sparkle alive.

The survey of 2000 adults in steady relationships was specially commissioned to mark the launch of new the Farrelly Brothers comedy; Hall Pass which opens on Friday the 11th March. Starring Owen Wilson and Jason Sudekis, Hall Pass follows the adventures of two married men who are given permission for a ‘one week no rules’ week off their marriages with hilarious results. The study compared and contrasted the feedback from those in short term relationships (defined as less than 3 years) and people who were married or in longer term partnerships.

The findings reveal that tensions in relationships tend to increase significantly at the 36 month marker; indeed a staggering 67% of all of those surveyed said that small irritations which are seemingly harmless and often endearing during the first flushes of love often expand into major irritations around this time. These findings are supported by figures which show that the couples in three year + relationships argue for an average of 2.7 hours every week a massive 5.4 days of conflict over the course of a year and double the amount of arguments (average of 1.2 hours arguing per week) of the younger sample group.

The top 10 everyday niggles and passion killers for Brits in relationships were defined as follows;
1.Weight gain/lack of exercise 13%
2.Money & Spend thriftiness 11%
3.Anti social working hours 10%
4.Hygiene issues (personal cleanliness) 9%
5.In Laws and extended family seeing too much/too little of 9%
6.Lack of romance (sex, treats etc) 8%
7.Alcohol - drinking too much 7%
8.Snoring & anti social bedtime habits 6%
9.Lapsed fashion sense - losing touch with fashion & wearing the same old underwear & clothes 4%
10.Bathroom habits failing to lock doors, stray nails cuttings, cleaning up etc 4%

Whilst arguments and niggles tend to increase; romantic gestures such as meals out and weekends away tend to decrease markedly over the course of a relationship. Those in a young relationships of less than three years tend to dine out an average of four times a month however this figure is halved by the time we get past three years when we tend to dine out a mere two times a month . The outlook gets bleaker still for those at the five year + mark who dine out a lowly once a month on average. Additional gestures such as weekends away, gifts and flowers also fall by the wayside with the onset of time, indeed, 46% of those in early relationships enjoy a romantic gesture at least twice a month compared to 15% of those who had reached the three year marker.

We also start to make less of an effort the longer a relationship lasts; indeed the older our relationships get, the older our underwear becomes! Brits in relationships that have lasted 5 years + admitted that their oldest items of underwear they owned were a hard wearing four years old – compared to the younger sample group on 2 years! New clothes and haircuts are also twice as likely to go unnoticed in longer term relationships as the younger study group.

These findings could well be linked to the fact that our collective libidos also take a major hit once the rosy glow of romance starts to fade. Over half of the Brits surveyed (52%) who were in young relationships admit that they enjoy sexual relations at least three times a week compared to a lowly 16% of those in three year + relationships. This suggests that as we get older together, romance gives way to day to day practicalities, supported by the fact that 55% of busy Brits in longer term relationships admit that they now have to ‘schedule’ their romantic time.

The report also reveals that those in the first flush of love can look forward to an average of three compliments a week from their partners– a figure which falls to an average of a single weekly compliment at the three year high tide mark. Again the prognosis gets worse the longer we stay in relationships, three in ten (31%) of those surveyed that have been in a relationship for five years + admit that they never receive any compliments from their partners.

The study suggests that couples spend less time together now than at any over time in history – the average couple spending a mere 13.9 hours a week in each other’s company. These findings are reflected by the fact that over three quarters (76%) of all the people surveyed responded that ‘individual space was important’ within a relationship. These findings point to the rise of individual activities that many couples are resorting to in order to keep their relationship sparkle. A third (34%) of those who have been seeing their partners for longer than three years have at least two evenings a month defined as a pass or a ‘ticket where it is accepted that they can pursue their own interests. Furthermore 58% of the same sample group enjoy regular holidays without their partners in tow suggesting that the old adage absence makes the heart grow fonder remains true to this day.

On a more general level, a huge 45% of us in a relationship would jump at the chance of a free ‘week off’ our relationships (a Hall Pass) provided our partners were not informed of our activities!

People in Northern Ireland seem to be the biggest arguers, with 11% of people rowing with their partners every day, and one in three will have an argument a few times per week, plus a staggering 90% of them find their partner’s habits irritating after the two year mark. People in the West Midlands seem to be the most lax when it comes to buying new underwear, as 17% have underwear that dates back more than eight years. People in the East Midlands seem to be the least romantic as over 20% of respondents have not received any romantic gesture such as buying flowers, a surprise weekend away or a present, within the last year.

Hall Pass is released on the 11^th March at Cinemas Nationwide