First Date Thoughts
Yes dates are about getting to know another person, but if you spend your entire date grilling the girl, she won't be at ease with you,
Do Pick The Right Woman
Pick the right woman - One of the most common problems early on in a potential relationship is nerves.Men chronically find themselves standing on the edge of insecure ledges on first dates. This is usually the result of a guy picking a woman who makes them nervous because they are either extraordinarily attractive, or, in the man's mind, out of his league. A blokes genes have it inbuilt that they should choose a women for her looks rather than mundane things such as personal compatibility. True, it's not always the case, but it makes the nerves worse when it is. So, begin by picking a dynamic woman first.
But if you're nervous because you think she's not only perfect but perfect for you then try these tips to calm down and pull off a first date and guarantee a second date.
Do Understate
Taking her out to the best restaurant in town is not necessarily as impressive as you might think. First up, it may not suit her taste, and if you pick up the tab, it can leave her feeling like she owes you something. This is an unbalanced and unproductive dynamic. Try taking her out for a coffee at your favourite spot. This shows her that you are confident within yourself and don't need to overcompensate with a flash settings, and that just each others' company is what the date is all about.
Do Keep It Just the Two of You
On occasions if either party is unsure of their date, he or she will want to include friends in the dynamic to ease the "getting to know you" pressure. This is a mistake for rather than diffuse the pressure, it just takes away the opportunity to get to know each other. If she wants to meet up with her friends on a first date, unless you are really, really feeling it, your best bet is to wish her a good night and perhaps meet the crew on a third or fourth outing when you've got to know her just around you. When you are ready to meet her friends, remember to stay confident, polite, and honest.
Do Engage Your Own Interests
You might think it's smartest to gear your date set-up toward what will perfectly suit your woman's taste, but if this conflicts with your own interests, you probably won't end up the most delightful date partner. It's just as important that you enjoy the dates as much as she does. So, keep your own preferences in mind and try to find some middle ground. In the end you will both most likely end up exposing each other to new activities, people, and hobbies that you wouldn't have jumped into otherwise.
What Not to Do on Your Date
Don't Over-guess and Shoot for "Perfect"
To impress the woman you are taking out, it's tempting to try to custom fit your date to what you deem your woman's preferences are. The danger here is what if you miss the mood - this places both of you in a situation that neither wants or is happy with. The irony here is that if you are aiming to fix the perfect date, there is very little chance it won't fall short. Rather - simply try for something that allows you to spend time with each other in a relaxing environment and get to know each other.
Don't be Hell Bent On Impressing
Men tend to view dating almost as a kind of competition, first up your on trial, you've got to conquer to make it to round two. In this case a first date becomes a bragging session, all about making it past her worthy list. In reality this is rarely the case and she becomes bored with her self opinionated suitor, result - the date turns into a disaster. Instead, you should be focusing on being yourself for her, after all do you want a relationship based on suppositions, far better you use the date to figure out if she is right for you. Beautiful she may be, but does she stimulate you enough for make it to your round two? The best way to impress your date is to be 'you'. If she's not impressed by that, then it wouldn't last anyway so move on.
Don't Let Your Nerves Win
It's too easy to become nervous about your date. In fact, it's more often than not the case for both of you to be nervous especially if you find yourself particularly attracted to the other person. Nerves result as all sorts of reasons, from doubting your venue choice, anxiety over what you are wearing, what her first impressions will be, and any kind of insecurities you are afraid will show through. Learn how to calm your nerves before a date here.
Don't Interrogate Her
Yes dates are about getting to know another person, but if you spend your entire date grilling the girl, she won't be at ease with you, she won't feel like answering all the questions, and probably won't want another date. Remember, it's not the particulars of your individual lives that matter, but a more indefinable attraction that is best explored by just spending time together.
That said, you do want to learn about each other, and basic questions are both productive and unavoidable; so, ask her to tell you about herself, and most importantly listen to her.
Don't Be Inflexible
You may have your own ways or pace of doing things, but she may be different. To gauge what your woman is looking for, often it's the simple approach that works and it's fine to just ask 'what are you looking for in a man?'. Further if things progress make sure you are available, and be flexible if you want to be with her. Engaging just your own agenda can be a turn-off.
But most of all remember this date is not your "try-outs." She's not auditioning for you, you're both interested in each other and experimenting with the fit. Don't just brag and pick up her expensive tab, be your polite charming self, and everything else will fall into place.
tagged in Dating Tips