From the start I made sure I was honest, having children, the most natural thing in the world, was going to be far from natural for me. To be fair it wasn't the best chat up line in the world! But Aaron accepted me and my broken body and we fell in love, hopeful that one day we could have a family of our own.
Relationships on Female First
In time we tried for our baby and as the months ticked on fears were realised, it just wasn't working. We embarked on our IVF journey which sadly failed. However, I knew that carrying a child in my tummy wasn't important, being called mummy was, however that happened. I told Aaron I wanted to stop treatment. I wanted to adopt.
It seemed so simple. I'd always considered it to be a way of having a family. I'd had years to think of this. But Aaron was a newbie to the world of infertility and adoption. He believed that if you wanted something enough it would work. He struggled to see why I would want to give up on having our 'own' child. We argued. I cried. I pleaded as I plunged into a dark place of despair. Crying some more I eventually wrote him a letter. All the things I was struggling to say out loud, and finally he saw it. We could have a child, be a family, be happy and close the door to heartache. He agreed we could look into adoption. I cried once again, but this time through sheer joy.
As we started the adoption process with our agency Caritas Care it was clear we were approaching things very differently. Initially Aaron dreaded the invasive nature of the sessions, while I embraced the conversation, the journey drawing us closer to our child.
They say opposites attract and it was certainly true here. But it meant we could support each other, drawing on our varying strengths. I would encourage him to positively share our story whilst he would pull me back from my daydream and show me how to take things one step at a time.
It worked and in time we sailed through home study and held hands at approval panel. The panel members from Caritas Care gave us a unanimous yes and finally we were deemed fit to parent a beautiful child of our own. We celebrated with cocktails, just us, together against the world.
Aaron wanted a son, I wanted a child. It was Aaron that, after all these years, still surprised me by falling for a little pink. As we read about her we grinned, we didn't need to voice it out loud, we both knew she was our perfect match. We'd found our child.
Tired, emotional but happy we brought our daughter home. As I watch them together I couldn't love him more. This journey has certainly shown our relationship to stand the test of time. We have ridden the highs and lows together and come out stronger. I always knew I'd wanted him to be the father of my children and finally it has become reality. We have our happy ever after.
Lauren, adopter and mother.