Lets face it most of us are self-confessed Facebook addicts whether we’re logging on to update our statuses, checking it to a glamorous hot spot, uploading our carefully selected photos, or having a good old nose. For many a day or even an hour doesn’t go by without a Facebook fix.
Relationships on Female First
A NBC Oxygen survey showed that 40 per cent of 1,700 women aged 18-34 self-identify as Facebook addicts.
In a poll of the same number of women by people search engine Yasni.com in the UK, found that 62 per cent of women admitted to looking up a former love interest up online.
Looking at an Ex and seeing what they’re up to, whether its checking whether they’ve moved on or comparing ourselves to their new flames, seems to have become something of a fixation for many women.
After a break up many of us find ourselves Facebook dumped and removed from our former flames friends list, making us automatically feel feelings of humiliation and rejection. But often we tend to still have friends in common with an ex and will go to lengths to get ‘updates’ from mutual friends on their daily activities.
Whether they’re in a new relationship, how good or bad they’re really looking, it can soon become an unhealthy obsession.
When we think we’ve moved on, have we really, when we cant resist the urge to keep logging on?
Such a habit may make us feel as though by having a peek into their lives, that we may get some of the burning questions we seek answered. But in reality, doesn’t it just give us a distorted view of reality?
Is your ex really going to post a comment about how he’s sitting their reminiscing over your relationship looking over past pics of you both in happier times, or rather write he’s out with the boys having a wale of a time?
And those pictures of him and his new bit of skirt are bound to hurt, but in reality, they’re posing for the camera, to create an image of bliss, but still you have no real perception of the personal conversations and problems they may incur behind closed doors.
And when it comes to meeting someone new, the temptation is to send them a friend request after just a few dates, with the acceptance, we feel as though we have been given access to their world, we can see who their friends are, what sort of things they may think about, and life before us.
We may feel as though we are getting to know someone better by having access to them in this way. But again, all we’re getting is carefully selected information purely for social status.
The best way to really get to know someone is to get to know them face to face, not through the glares of a computer screen.
If we’re honest with ourselves, does our Facebook stalking addiction really make us feel better?
Do we feel improved feelings of self-worth after our snooping sessions? For most the answer’s no, it may give us something to gossip about with the girls, but other than that, it’s counterproductive.
Think of the minutes and hours you’re spending logging on watching someone from afar, when you could be out there getting on with someone over dinner or with drinks at a bar.
So, my advice to the single girl? Log off and get out!