With 1 in 3 brits admitting to feeling ‘frienvy’ once a week according to Mecca Bingo. This begs the question- are we becoming a nation of people who spend their lives coveting what other people have too much?
Relationships on Female First
There is always going to be someone out there who is better off than you-fact. Even if you have the career, the partner, the family, the money- there will always be someone who has more cash, more prospects, a closer relationship with their significant other and better behaved children.
You can’t have it all- but accepting that is becoming increasingly difficult as Facebook parades the best of peoples’ lives for everyone to see so we are fighting a losing battle?
But what are we envious of exactly? 30% of women are envious of their friend's holidays- the fact that they are going on one and you’re not or that theirs is ultimate luxury and yours is budget friendly.
33% of men are competitive with their friends over their salary and if it’s equal to or more than their mates.
One in ten think that their friends know of this envy, so the question is- does this make them play up to the role of being the better and more fortunate or do they find it flattering? In fact 1 in 4 are flattered by their friends being jealous of their life and 50% would kindly not let it affect their friendship.
This ‘frienvy’ has resulted in some drastic changes in the lives of those who are trying to keep up with the Jones’. 20% of women said they lost weight and 23% decided to become more positive.
It makes men try harder at work and 14% of women want to make the most of their opportunities as a result.
It also makes men and women copy their friends in areas that they are jealous of. 48% of women have copied their friend’s clothes and 32% of men have retold their friend’s jokes and claimed them as their own. Chandler's monkey joke- hello!?
With a massive 62% of men and women checking Facebook to see what their friends have been up, there may be no escape from the ‘frienvy’ we have arguably inflicted upon ourselves through the art of social media.
The list of measures that people compare themselves to their friends with is endless.
For women it’s all about appearances- being envious of a friend’s figure- if they are thinner or happier with theirs than you are with yours. Attractiveness also rates highly along with weight loss- so women are firmly fixed in being ahead of the game when it comes to looks.
Men, on the other hand, are preoccupied with the materialistic things in life, such as jobs, holidays, new cars and salary.
It is arguable that we are playing to our evolutionary instincts by chasing those things that we are historically defined by. Men, despite changes in roles, still aspire to be the provider- the instinct clearly still plays a role in what men feel are defining attributes.
Women on the other hand want to be the most attractive in the crowd, as they want to find a partner and be the most desired of the pack.
Call it what you will, but we are unable to ever escape these cave men instincts that still dictate our behaviour and our priorities, even if they have diluted over the years.
We are left with a dilemma- is social media accountable for our ‘frienvy’ or are we just succumbing to our natural roles in the selection process?