Gemma Collins "didn't recognise herself" anymore after having so much Botox and fillers.
Gemma Collins didn't recognise herself
The 41-year-old reality star - who got engaged to Rami Hawash for a second time in December 2021 - admitted her own family called her out on the changes she'd made in an attempt to look more youthful, and now she's "matured".
Speaking to Ayda Williams on the 'Postcards From The Edge', podcast, she said: "I feel like I've matured now. I feel like a woman. I think before like being in TV, had to stay young all the time, have to stay this, have to stay that. I'm just staying me, hun. I'm not going to try.
"I went down that route of having the fillers, the Botox and all of that. I just looked at myself and I don't even recognise myself. My mum went like 'Gemma, what have you done to your face? Keep it real. That's what people like about you'.
"I thought yeah, you're right. She'd go to me 'your face'. My dad said 'your face don't look right.' and I thought my dad would never say anything like that so it must look bad. It was kind of like going back to being who I was authentically."
Gemma also reflected on being "tested" by going through the highs and lows of relationships and breakups in the public eye, having "learnt to love herself".
She added: "I'm not going to feel guilty about sadness. I did fall in love with myself again. I did get to know myself again. All these people that have like come and gone in my life, they weren't there for the right reasons.
"Then all of a sudden I was so comfortable being on my own, I used to get kind of a bit bugged if people would like, 'Oh, let's come around and see you. Yeah, let's do this, let's make hundreds of plans.' I was like, you know what? Actually I'm fine.
"Then I got to a point, I was really comfortable, happy, I was like I've got this, I'm chilled, I make my own decisions in my own time."
Then, the former 'TOWIE' star's dad fell ill, and Rami got in touch at a time when "for the first time" she "wasn't obsessed with meeting someone else".
She continued: "We used to go for like little walks and he was really good to pick my mum up shopping if I couldn't get there. I was just like oh, this is nice. Again still wasn't thinking, but I did start to think, damn, why didn't I accept his proposal 10 years ago when I wanted that sort of life.
"Then I sort of went down another path and then I thought, actually, maybe this would be the right time for us. Didn't say nothing to him, did feel a bit gutted in myself. Like oh my God, I thought maybe I've missed an opportunity.
"Then just out of nowhere, it all came back. When you say I've matured, you know, I have got better at my work and stuff like that. I think I just had to go through all this process to sort of get to this point. And now it's good as, you know."
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