1) Think about whether you really need to get a hotel room. If the wedding isn’t that far from home – say you live in London and it is 2 hours out– why not club together with a few friends and rent a car or even a mini bus and driver for the day instead. It usually works out considerably cheaper and it also means that you can deal with your hangover alone in your own home the next day rather than in the breakfast room of a cheap hotel with your fellow guests. 2) Women: don’t buy, rent. There really isn’t much need to spend huge amounts on wedding outfits. You can buy vintage, buy at sample sales or these days even buy at Topshop – their stock turns over so fast you are unlikely to ever see anyone in the same thing. Otherwise why not rent? It seems old fashioned but there are dress agencies that still rent out lovely party dresses at a fraction of the cost of buying them. This also goes for hats which are definitely better rented than bought. A final way to cut the cost of getting dressed is simply to share pieces that wouldn’t get much worn otherwise. I have a ‘wedding coat’ in a deep red silk that is regularly passed around all my sisters and friends. It has been to hundreds of weddings – from a very formal affair in the Vatican to an outdoor dance in Scotland, usually without me.

3) Men: don’t rent, buy. With the average suit rental costing nearly £80 renting for each wedding is madness – you are going to be going to 100s of the things over the years. Even if you buy a new wedding suit you are going to end up getting good value from it over time but you might also think about buying a second hand morning suit. Rental agencies sometimes sell off ex rental clothes but better might be to scour charity shops and second hand clothes shops for a really good quality cast off. After all what’s the difference between wearing second hand and wearing rental? They’ve both been worn by someone else first…

4) Buy off list – and don’t spend too much. The happy couple know it is costing you to come to their wedding and these days most people have most of what they need so few people are really expecting much in the way of expensive presents. A lot of couples set up wedding lists more for family members who want to make sure they get them something they really want than for friends. So why not just get your friends a quirky but personal small present. They will never remember it was you that gave them the set of glasses from a list but they will remember and keep a special book that you’ve inscribed for them or a small photo album with pictures recording your friendship. You might also give in non monetary ways – can you help out at all at the wedding for example or give them a day of your labour to help with the DIY in their new house?

5) Try and be in charge. There’s not much you can do about the cost of the hen and stag weekends if you aren’t involved in the organisation so try and be involved! See if you can’t find a way to have the party in the UK – rent a country cottage for the weekend and eat and drink in that instead (this will certainly cut the cost of cocktails!) or get caterers in to do a special dinner at home. Its much cheaper and it might be a lot nicer too (no airports, no below standard hotels, and it’s a lot easier to talk – which is surely the point of a hen night at least).