Having an opposite-sex friend is a drawback

10 September 2012

The age old debate of can men and women be just friends? has been reignited and researchers have come to the conclusion that this is ultimately impossible.

Relationships on Female First

Researchers, from the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire said that attraction between opposite-sex friends is a common reason as to why the friendship won’t work.

Out of the participants from the study, 32 per cent listed attraction as one of the main costs of a friendship with only 6 per cent saying they found it to be a benefit.

Women saw it as a bigger drawback with 47 per cent of women aged 18-23 saying it was a cost, whereas only 22 per cent of men the same age said the same.

Not only can you friendships be at risk, but having an opposite-sex friend can also have a negative effect on your romantic relationships.

The study showed that 38 per cent of women ages 27-50 said that jealously from their romantic partner was something that proved a cost of an opposite-sex friendship.

Men also suffered, with 25 per cent of them aged 27-50 also had to endure jealously from their partner.

The researchers wrote in the August issue of the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, “Our findings implicate attraction in cross-sex friendship as both common and of potential negative consequence for individuals’ long-term mateships.”

Bad news for those who are in a relationship with someone who has an opposite-sex friend; the study found that the more attraction one felt towards their opposite-sex friend, the less satisfied they were with their romantic relationship.

The researchers concluded that by having an opposite-sex friend, instinctually you will trigger mating strategies that were initiated thousands of years ago, making it near impossible to remain ‘just friends’.

The researchers said, “Mating strategies may influence people’s involvement in cross-sex friendships to begin with, as well as unintentionally colour people’s feelings toward members of the opposite sex with whom their conscious intent is platonic.”

However, the researchers did acknowledge that everyone is different when it comes to friendships and relationships. They said, “Perhaps attraction can be both benefit and burden for the same individual in different friendships, or be both benefit and burden for the same friendship at different points in time.”