Holly Aspey
You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. First impressions are lasting, so if you meet someone for the first time with your skirt accidentally tucked into your knickers this image of you will be forever imprinted in your dates head and you will probably acquire some unfortunate nick name such as; 'granny pants'. It won't matter how glamorous, smart or funny you actually are, you will be forever remembered as the girl who can't dress herself properly! Therefore, it is vital to make a good impression when first meeting someone. Here's a guideline to avoid any obvious pit holes on a first date.
1) 'Don't wear your knickers on your head...'
Make sure your skirt is on correctly and your knickers aren't on show... and just be mindful of your outfit in general. You don't want to offend your date by sitting in a fancy restaurant wearing a bright yellow, insulting t-shirt with 'Pro-abortion' printed across the front next to a picture of a dead baby. It obviously depends on where your date is – if you're going to the fair you don't want to be sat on a roller coaster wearing a ball gown.
2) 'Don't go to the cinema...'
Always avoid a first date at the cinema. Spending 3 hours in a dark room not talking to someone is not the ideal way to spend a first date.
3) 'Don't be a drunken dribbling mess...'
If you're ten minutes into your first date and you have already picked out your wedding dress and planned out your entire life together in your head with someone you've only just met, then I'm sorry to say that it's probably not love at first sight and you've had a little too much to drink. A glass of wine to take the edge off for dutch courage never hurt anyone (unless you're an extreme light weight) but you should know your limits and try to avoid any situations where you're wiping vomit off your dates shoes. Nobody wants to be sat on a first date with some dribbling drunken mess who's sat laughing at a chair.
4) 'Don't talk about the dreaded ex...'
Just avoid the word 'ex' altogether - because we all know that as soon as we get onto the topic we just can't seem to stop talking about the dreaded ex and we get a little crazy glint in our eyes as we begin stabbing our food with our fork that little bit more aggressively than previous. Just don't go there, promise? Even if your ex walks into the restaurant / bar etc. that you are in THEY DON'T EXIST.
5) 'Don't interrogate your date...'
'So, tell me a bit about yourself? Do you have any hobbies? Where was your previous job? Where do you see yourself in five years time? Describe a time when you had to work in a team? Why did you apply for this job... oh wait.'
6) 'Don't order smelly food...'
However much gum you chew afterwards you will undoubtedly stink for the rest of the date.
7) 'Don't declare your love on a first date...'
'I've never felt this way about anyone ever in my entire life! I think we might be soul mates!'
Play it cool. I know this can be hard, especially if you haven't been out on a date for a while and you just want to jump on the person and scream 'LOVE ME' in their face, but this won't get you anywhere except in a taxi back home on your own. However socially awkward and psychotic you are just chill your beans for a few hours, I beg you.
8) 'Don't talk about marriage, sex or babies...'
'Hi, I really want to get married and have 7 children' is not the best line to open with. That's enough to have your date heading for the door.
9) 'Don't expect your date to pay the bill...'
This is the modern world - women are working and earning more money than men in some cases - if anything we might even be expected to pay the bill these days. When it comes to money on a date, although it would be nice for the guy to pay, just don't get your hopes up try to pretend that you're out having lunch with a friend and split the bill equally.
10) 'Don't drag a friend along...'
Firstly, this makes you look like a scared 16-year-old girl who needs someone to hold her hand on a first date - so unless that's the look you're going for, I suggest you avoid bringing a friend along on your first date. This could go either way but it is usually a big no no. If your friend is bigger and uglier than you then sure, bring them along and make you look good. On the other hand you don't want to be sat next to a Kate moss look alike all night trying to get a word in edgeways as your supermodel friend and your date hit it off like a house on fire....
NB. Please note that this is just a guideline and there's still a very high chance of you messing up your first date; especially if, like myself, you find yourself falling into one of these categories; really boring, annoying, crazy or unattractive, and an even higher chance if you embody all three.
Apologies go out to anyone who has read this article and never wants to date again... 'Table for one, please..!'
tagged in Love Date First Date