Christian Bale as Batman
The Dark Knight Rises hits screens today, and there’s no denying that Christian Bale is so much more appealing as the mysterious Batman, so what is the appeal of mysterious men?
Dr Stocchi, of Harleystreetpyschology.com, says that mysterious men are often found to be attractive as they are outside of the social norms that we all generally adhere to.
He says, “People in general follow particular scripts of behaviour and thinking based accordingly on how they are socialised and dependant on the society they are brought up in. Because they develop these patterns which help them understand people better, when they encounter a mysterious man they are naturally drawn to the unknown.”
The curiosity is thought to lead us to fall for someone because we feel the need to know more about them.
Claire McRitchie, from withinreachtherapy.com, says, “From a psychotherapeutic point of view the attraction of a mystery man is that he is 'unknown' and in being unknown he can in fact be 'anything' or 'anyone' his partner wants him to be.”
Not knowing anything about a man leads us to project what we want him to be onto him.
Claire says, “In knowing nothing about him, the woman can project any qualities onto him; whether he be a knight in shining armour who can leap to her defence when she needs it most, offering a protection that she may have lacked in life, or a cool aloof man who can take control of situations.”
Dr Stocchi says that mysterious men often hold deep secrets and are unpredictable in anything they do. He says, “I call this individual an enigma, which in my experience is someone who has a great depth to them but the depth is endless which can either be highly intriguing or intensely frustrating for the person wanting to know more about this mysterious man.
As well as being frustrating, mysterious men can be dangerous and damaging to a women’s self-esteem. Claire questions how emotionally invested a man, who is essentially a puzzle, can be?
Dr Stocchi says that mysterious men are appealing for their secrecy but if they simply refuse to let you in, and are using the technique as a veneer of protection to shield darker secrets then you are risking becoming seriously hurt by this man.
He continues, “The outcome of which can leave her untrusting of all men; often encountering feelings of not being good enough to have understood and ‘kept’ this mysterious man; developing intense feelings of neediness; being hyper critical and judging.
“All of these are characteristics which can manifest into larger issues for the woman concerned and be disastrous characteristics to bring into a new relationship.”
If you just can’t help yourself when it comes to the mysterious man who likes to mask everything about himself, there is hope for you!
Dr Stocchi says that by not taking your mystery men too seriously and having a bit of fun with him, you will be in a position of strength when it comes to getting to know him.
Have you ever fallen for a mysterious man? Tell us who your ideal masked man would be in the comments below or tweet us @FemaleFirst_UK
Cara Mason