This week I was thrilled to hear about a dear friend of mine getting married – again. He is now on wife number six, getting married on his 40th birthday, a week ago. They disappeared off to a warm beach in the Caribbean and sealed the deal. It was his 6th wedding, his third on a beach, his fourth to a brunette, and he swears this time it's for life.  But I remember him telling me that at his last wedding, while he checked out the bridesmaid he'd never met.

Sex on Female First

Sex on Female First

I'm not sure whether to admire him for getting out of a bad relationship and moving on rather than sticking around for years, making both of them miserable, or pity him because he just can't seem to settle, and is constantly drooling over the ultra-green lawn he believes is over the fence every time.

On each occasion he has cheated on his wife, and then married his mistress. He started when he first got married at 19 and cheated within two weeks, declaring married life wasn't for him. I assumed he'd stay single for many, many years, but within three months he was engaged to his mistress. Before I go any further, no, I haven't been his mistress at any point during the past 20 years. We have only ever been friends and I've questioned his behaviour on many occasions, but if someone loves wedding cake that much, what can you do? His new wife is delightful, but already I can see the cracks appearing – only a matter of time? Maybe.

Being a serial mistress I have heard so many times from guys who are miserable in their relationships, cheating on their wives, getting away with it for years, and 'tolerating' their home life. I suppose, in this case, he deserves a medal for having the balls to admit it’s not working and move on, but the part I struggle with is his 'Chimp Syndrome'. He may well leave when he's not happy, but he makes sure he has somewhere to go when he does. 

Just like a chimp, he won't let go of one branch until he has a very firm grip on the next one. He meets someone he likes, marries her, meets someone he likes more, probably because it’s exciting, passionate and different, marries her, then as soon as that becomes mundane again, he's off to the next passionate alternative he can find. I wonder if he'll always be searching for 'The One', and if any woman would ever avoid becoming 'ordinary'.

His wives have progressively become more high maintenance as the years have gone by. He's certainly not one for marrying a plain girl. But the latest addition to the list is from Essex and truly resembles someone from TOWIE. She is waxed, primped and plucked within an inch of her life, and polished off in a rich, dark mahogany tone. I saw him just before Christmas and he had taken on the David Dickenson look too. He can get away with it, because he's incredibly handsome (double-take-in-the-street attractive).

He has always been body conscious and as a personal trainer he needs to be, but this is a new level of vanity. Wife number six is a beautician, as was wife number 3 and wife number 5. I don't even want to think how smooth his sack and crack are! Maybe it's the promise of free mani/pedis and waxing for life that made him propose? Anyway, on this occasion I truly hope this is the last one, because I want him to be happy, and he does look very happy – orange, but content. And secretly I want this to be the last one because I have completely run out of ideas for wedding presents.

Wishing him luck and happiness doesn't stop me wondering why he can't settle with one woman, but still continues with his eternal search for 'The One'. Over the years, all the men I've met, had friendships or even affairs with, have stayed where they are, with no intention of ever leaving. They have occasionally complained about it, have justified their actions to me and of course themselves, but have insisted they would never leave. 

That hasn't been for my benefit, that has been the situation. On illicitencounters.com I would say 90 per cent of the male profiles I have ever read proudly stated 'I am happy with my relationship and don't want to leave', yet they are still looking for a mistress. I totally understand the men who don't want to hurt their kids, destroy the life of the woman they love, and divide the home and possessions in two, but how damaging, in the long run, is their life of misery? How unfulfilled and dissatisfied are they to look for a mistress but not leave? Obviously not enough.   

I wish everyone could be happy with their choices, of partners, jobs, homes, lifestyles, but how many truly are? Are the men who stay happier than the men who move on endlessly, never finding 'The One', or is it the other way round?

Karen uses dating site IllicitEncounters.com

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