Only take up half the bed- Or your loved one will pounce on you for dramatic effect and steal the covers from you without so much as an apology.
Turn it down if they go to bed before you
Don't be noisy if they are asleep- No banging of cupboard doors or screaming at the TV, mowing the lawn or emptying the dishwasher. These must all wait until they are awake so their ears can begin to accept noise.
Give 24 hours' notice before inviting people- You need time to muck out at the zoo and make yourself presentable. Those who turn up unexpectedly are faced with The Twits and this is unforgivable for the person who invited them.
Turn down the TV- If one of you goes to bed before the other. Yes we know you are watching porn- it sounds like it's going on in our bedroom!
If you partner has a bad day- You must provide booze and an unhealthy meal. They will not be in the mood for cooking and a non- alcoholic beverage and require calories to make them feel better.
If you eat separately at night- Then you don't have to share your meal with them and vice versa- unless it's dessert then you do or you will get Facebook shamed.
tagged in Partner