Rylan Clark's breakdown was "the ejector seat" he needed.
Rylan Clark has reflected on his mental breakdown
The 35-year-old star has reflected on his struggles with mental health, as he split from husband Dan Neal in 2021 after admitting to cheating, and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital after trying to take his own life.
Reflecting on coming clean about being unfaithful, Rylan told The Guardian newspaper: "I couldn’t understand why I pressed the nuclear button on my seemingly perfect life.
"And it’s only now I’m better that I realise it was the ejector seat I needed. Now I just wish I’d pressed that escape button earlier.”
For a long period before finding clarity, the 'This Morning' star "got so ill to the point where he knew he couldn't get any iller" and he struggled to function.
He explained: “I couldn’t speak. I had to learn to speak again, I had to learn to move again. It was like I’d had a stroke.
"I couldn’t understand anything. Nothing made sense to me. I couldn’t have the TV on and I couldn’t listen to music.
"All I could do was sit in silence. TV and music’s my job!"
Although there wasn't a "lightbulb moment" that helped him come out on the other side, Rylan suggested simply being alive may have been the spark.
He said: "It sounds silly but I think the turning point was the fact that I didn’t die.
"I wish I could give a better answer because if there was a turning point, I’d bottle it and dish it out free of charge.”
Rylan thinks the breakdown helped make him who he is, but he is upset by what his loved ones had to go through during the experience.
He added: “It’s made me who I am now. My only regret is I had to put my friends and family through it, and they had to watch me turn to nothing. Horrendous.”
His experiences made him realise how much he didn't want the trappings of fame, but instead he simply wanted to be able to do his job.
He pondered: "It’s cut-throat. Cut-throat. You think people care about people? Not really. But you know what? I earn a living from it and as long as I can sleep well at night knowing I haven’t [screwed] people over, I’m happy.”
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