It’s a tale as old as the story of love itself; as time passes, the passion of romance starts to cool off. This may be a familiar story: You and your partner used to share romantic dinners but now you’re eating leftovers most nights of the week. You used to go out to shows and concerts, but now you don’t even watch TV together. Stolen kisses and the exchange of lustful looks have become increasingly rare. If this is sounding familiar, don’t despair! It doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed; it just means you need a reminder of what made you fall in love in the first place.
In this article, we will fill you in on some great ideas for how you can reignite the passion in your romance.
1. Make the Relationship a Priority
When you first fell in love with your partner, you probably wanted to do whatever it took to make that special person feel happy. You would plan exciting dates, purchase thoughtful gifts, or simply go out of your way to be helpful and supportive. But then life probably got in the way – it happens to most people! Between career stress, household chores, and many other responsibilities, it becomes easy for your relationship to fade from the forefront of your priorities.
If you are looking to get that passion back, start by making the relationship a priority again. Take the time to make special plans to escape your daily routines; even if it’s just cooking a fun meal together or going for a romantic stroll. Heading out to a fancy dinner can also be a lot of fun, but if time or budget constraints make that problematic, then there’s nothing wrong with dressing up and setting the table for a romantic, at-home date night.
2. Passion Breeds Passion
Let’s be honest; it can be hard to look at your lover in the same lustful way when you both spend most nights on the couch binge-watching shows in your sweatpants. People tend to feel passionately about those who are passionate. Or as marriage therapist Sherrie Campbell puts it, “independence and a sense of purpose are sexy”.
If you are looking for passion in your relationship, it’s important to pursue passion in your own life. When you met your partner, you likely had a number of hobbies and interests that made you alluring to them and helped to keep conversation topics fresh. Maybe your individual passions even gave you a sexy hint of mystery. Consider reconnecting with old interests that you might have fallen out of touch with, or seek some new hobbies to enrich your life.
3. The Couple that Plays Together, Stays Together
When it comes to spending quality time, it doesn’t always have to take place in the bedroom. Spending time doing things you enjoy together helps enhance your relationship and can restore that spark you first discovered when you started dating. If you are a physical couple, outdoor activities like bike riding or running can be a great bonding experience (and good for your health!).
You don’t have to be an athlete to enjoy engaging in the fun of simple, youthful pleasures. Consider planning a game night with games-for-two such as card games, or grab a board game classic like Scrabble or Monopoly. For those who enjoy video games, there are lots of two-player options that can engage your competitive sides while also leading to lots of laughter.
Think back to some of your all-time favorite date nights and have fun coming up with creative ways to recreate those experiences!
4. Escape from Reality
Few things are more romantic than the perfect vacation. Indulging in delicious meals, cozying up away from the hustle and bustle of real life, and just spending some time exploring the world together are wonderful ways to rekindle passion. Of course, budget, time, and other constraints can make vacationing a serious challenge. If you have the option to plan a romantic escape, then vacations are the best way to set time aside and commit to reconnecting with each other. But you don’t need to fly across the world to replicate some of that vacation magic, even a one-night getaway or a day trip can be a lovely way to spend quality time.
Escaping from the rigors of daily life with one another is a healthy way to rekindle passion and rejuvenate mental well-being. A lack of connection between partners is not only damaging to the long term health of that relationship, but can also be detrimental to personal mental health, leading to issues such as “escape gambling”, over-reliance on alcohol, or other high risk behaviors. Like anything else, a relationship takes time and work; but the payoff is worth the effort!
5. Make Time for Each Other
Whether its kids, your crazy careers, or a combination of it all, finding alone time as a couple can be a challenge. But according to relationship experts, carving out quality time is one of the most essential parts of fostering a healthy and happy relationship. Sometimes this means literally having to get something scheduled on the calendar! Whether it’s an hour of alone time after the kids are tucked into bed, or a romantic week away, putting the effort into finding time for just the two of you will help reignite that old spark. Consider creating a “couples bucket list” of fun activities that you would like to do together, and then dedicate time to making sure you cross some of those items off the list!