Should we escape and empty our heads of negativity?

Should we escape and empty our heads of negativity?

In simplistic terms- if you think bad things then that automatically makes you a bad person right? Why would a good person ever let themselves wander into the realms of unspoken criticism and internal negative dialogue? It would be wonderful if you could identify who has bad thoughts and who has good if they were clearly marked in some way just like the movie Shallow Hal. Alas, this is not possible- but does having a negative thought about someone or something make us inherently bad?

I was stuck in a traffic jam a few weeks back for two hours and all I could think was how it was affecting my destination arrival time and inconveniencing my day. In my impatience I forget that someone was probably having a much worse day than me. Someone was seriously injured, or dare I say it- dead. Someone had potentially lost someone precious or was looking over tem in a hospital bed wondering if they would pull through. This didn’t occur to me until I got home and calmed down- but I had been incredibly selfish in that moment to neglect any thought for the person involved in the crash and the family affected by it.

Afterwards I did feel guilty for having stich insular thoughts and then I realised that this happens to me on a daily basis. But no one can hear my thoughts so it’s ok right? Well actually; no because it adds to my never-ending list of reasons to feel guilty and makes me wonder- am I good person or not? Perhaps I am not as good as I assumed I was- my thoughts are now tarnished. Should such offenders go somewhere remote and empty their minds of all these disagreeable invasions to our happiness? If we can't what then?

You might say- cut yourself some slack- as long as you don’t verbalise a thought of disliking another person's outfit or telling your partner that you have had sex dreams about his best friend- then what is the harm? But are we just as bad as those that do tell all for just thinking them in the first place? Surely only a bad person would seek out the worst and focus on it. 

It’s what you do with the information that counts. You could hide away from it and wait for it to resurface at a really inappropriate time like when you are drunk op angry or you could bring it to the forefront look at it and try to work out the reason why you might have had this thought.

Everyone is human and finds fault in at least one thing per day about someone or something else. It is normal to be critical of the things around us to make us feel better about ourselves. She might earn more than me but she has a really bad relationship with her parents- unlike me. We all have things that we are better or worse than other people at- but in the heat of the jealous moment- the person we are mentally attacking are all bad and as a consequence of thinking that- we are too.

If we were to beat ourselves up about every little thing that pops into our head, everyone would be in therapy. Intrusive thoughts can lead to obsessive compulsive disorder, depression, body dimorphic disorder and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder to name a few so the repercussions of burying unwanted thoughts can have catastrophic impacts on mental health.

We need to acknowledge that people are good and bad and at some point every person you know will disappoint; and yes that includes you too. Take it as no surprise and move on before your unresolved thoughts find their way to your lips or worse affect your mental and physical wellbeing. 

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